I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it glows. i had to have it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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