Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
