So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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