I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dear god my vagina.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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