even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
