He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize