So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
