ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
wow bdsm is so cute
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
