sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I fill condoms, not promises.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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