Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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