Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
