You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
