i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
