carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
