It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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