plz talk dirty to me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
