I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
