let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
