Whod you bang
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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