We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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