I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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