lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When are your genitals available?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
