i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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