D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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