omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I party with great urgency now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
