you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
