I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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