Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
