On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She bit a glass in half.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
