Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
