We're facebook friends in real life
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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