just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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