It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
