no you cant smoke seaweed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
