Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
