I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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