After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
