You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need a beard to bite.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
