he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
