the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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