Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
