Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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