Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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