i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize