and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
my poor anus
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
