We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
