"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
