youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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