Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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