I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
