Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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