i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
