Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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