Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
