I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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