she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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